tai lo

Selalu gitu... kalo gw yg marah selalu dibilang "drama lo"...... tai lo! Aaaaaaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh gw dah gak tau lg mesti gimana... kesellllll kesellll keselllll!

Emangnya itu aja yg bikin gw kesel? ya gw tuh ngerasa akhir2 ini tuh kayaknya kita tuh dah jauh bgt... komunikasi jarang... sms jarang... apalagi elo kalo soal komunikasi lewat blog... pfft... gak usah diharap dah... seminggu gw gak cek blog juga gw gak miss out on anything...

Kayaknya tuh elo tuh gimana ye... don't bother trying anymore... too easy going bgt... jd boring atau apa gitu... kalo misalnya ada issue, elo tuh sikapnya "I'm too tired for this shit" atau "I have a headache, can we not talk about it?" atau "drama lo, stop being silly" gitu

It makes me think... "what am I????" U don't care anymore... u don't give a shit anymore... semua lo anggap cuman drama n silly aja... pfft

Don't even ask me what I want or what you should do or what I want u to do... figure it out yourself.

I want some changes... I want improvements... I'm tired of trying so hard by myself... it's like a one-way communication, like having a relationship to a pet or sumthin

It's like...I don't know... for example, you just bought a car... n u're so excited about it... u pay very close attention to the details of the car, u take very good care of it... blablabla... n then a few months later, your interest declines... u still love the car, but just not that excited about it as the first time u got it... u still enjoy the car n all that, but u just don't pay close attention to it anymore... you maintain it less... the car still "loves" u, still in good condition, still takes u places, etc... but your relationship with the car is just a so-so one... normal, nothing special... it's there n will always be there until u sell the car or until the car breaks down because of lack of maintenance...

I feel like I'm that car! That's how I feel about the way u treat me n the way things are these last few weeks. Nothing out of the ordinary... same thing everyday... same story... I don't giggle/smile at myself when I walk to school anymore... the relationship is still there, but in terms of maintenance and 2-way communication, it has definitely declined!
My B'day event and last night were just some of the events that triggered the ongoing "problem"... they were just cues that made me think about the relationship as a whole... and I became sad n depressed cuz of it...

I don't think about it every day... I don't analyze it everyday... but when things like last night happened, it made me think about it again... and I realize that I have to do something about it... I've told u about how I feel a few times, but u just didn't care... u never talked about it... it's like u just read it quickly n "yeah yeah, whatever, get on with my life"

Whatever... I went to GAP, no hoodies at all in the men section... there were thick ones n u don't want it... my stomach hurts like hell... n the high heel shoes hurt my toes... geez.. I hate formal attire! I'm going to the doctor's to see my results... n then probably lie down for a bit, n then pick up Adam blablabla...