Kinsey

Hi huneee... been thinking about u every second of today... glad to hear from u when I was at work today... it calmed me down a bit...

U're still sleeping, I guess... with the IV

I just watched "baise moi" --> I wasn't gonna watch it, but I thought I should get it over n done with... so I can move on to other foreign movies... it was brutal... if u think "Irreversible" was cruel, this one is 1000 times worse! I was so disturbed after watching it... so I had to watch another one I rented to lift me up... "Kinsey" I thought it was a documentary... but noooo... it was very interesting n enlightening n true... although a bit excessive in details ... the story was very good! The info is invaluable... some stuff were disturbing... it made me sick to a point... but it all happens in real life... that's what so sick about it... it's so common n true that it makes me sick... u should watch it...

Oh boy the world is messed up! everyone is screwed up... well, not everyone... hehehe
I don't know what else to write... akhirnya dpt a few sms dr situ... n got to talk 2 u on the phone too... hehehe...
I was so tired after work... Andrew called when I was at work (after talkin 2 ya), he needed some advice with this new girl he met...at bubble tea... a Chinese gal... hahaha... his pick up line was "Hey, may I know ur name?" huahaha... LOSER! I ended the conversation cuz I was too lazy to talk about it... his questions were obvious n stupid... so I said we'd probably talk later... n he called twice tonight, too bad I was watching a movie... hehehe.. so I didn't pick up... it was silent too... so... yeah...
Oh, by the way, he asked me "I called u a few times in the past week, but u never picked up.. why?" I said "If I don't pick up, that means I'm working, at school, busy, asleep, or just don't wanna talk... ok?" n he said "Ooooo, alrite... no problem..."

Daniel called yesterday when I was at the mall, he wanted to buy a new cellphone... but has some problems... to hell with it... that guy's full of shit... so I said "I gotta go... ttyl" n then he was like "gotta go? really? ya udah deh" hahaha... I could hardly hear him anyway... it was at the friggin mall, with music on n everything! I'm not gonna waste my girl outing on some nonsense talk about some stupid phone! pfft!

And then Fifi called around 3.30 today... wanted to go jogging, but I was working.. so... yeah...
And Thursday, the four of us (Rhob, Sandi, Marina n I) are goin to the movies... we're gonna watch "Crash"... an indie movie... don't know if I'll like it... Rhob, Sandi, n Marina all have similar taste in movies, n they're "educating" me hahaha... I agree with them on SOME movies, but not on most of them hahaha... cross my fingers n hope I'll like the movie hehehe

tomorrow I'm working until 11... with Mel.. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oh well... gotta do what I gotta do, right.. hehehe... at least it ain't gonna be busy.

I hope the operation is goin well tomorrow... I'm prayin 4 u...

Oh yeah, talked to Linda today... funny, we're closer than ever... maybe cuz she knows more of what I'm feeling than Fiona does... Linda's much more matured and sensible n gives great advice... plus, she knows about LDR n how hard it is... hehehe... that girl is superwoman... she goes to school fulltime (nursing courses) n has to plan for her wedding too! WOW...

blablabla... n then:
bakinmd (9:17:06 AM): I don't have the time to set the wedding & I need the resources to go to school
cmi_83 (9:17:34 AM): hmmmm... did u ask ur parents for help?
bakinmd (9:17:40 AM): yeah, I'm thinking to postpone the honeymoon for couple of months
cmi_83 (9:17:45 AM): wow
cmi_83 (9:17:57 AM): what does ambi think of that?
bakinmd (9:18:02 AM): MY CAREER....wahooo.....first
bakinmd (9:18:14 AM): Ambi wants me to get more confidence
bakinmd (9:18:33 AM): in my studies, in my career, in my personality
cmi_83 (9:18:38 AM): awwwww
bakinmd (9:18:41 AM): struggle one day at a time lah
cmi_83 (9:18:43 AM): so sweet of him
bakinmd (9:19:15 AM): yeah, it has been interesting to see him evolve
bakinmd (9:19:38 AM): His orientation changed alot, trying to "provide" my needs
cmi_83 (9:19:54 AM): yeah... more selfless very good!
bakinmd (9:19:57 AM): yeah, interesting "build in" mechanism from God
cmi_83 (9:20:09 AM): love can do anything

talked about some stuff Ambi did for his in-law-to-be's b'day hehehe

bakinmd (9:22:18 AM): yup, I didn't tell him to do it....his own initiative
bakinmd (9:22:29 AM): typed too, looks like printed from work
cmi_83 (9:22:32 AM): OMG.. unbelievable
bakinmd (9:22:32 AM): hihihi
cmi_83 (9:22:36 AM):
cmi_83 (9:22:42 AM): or copied from somewhere
bakinmd (9:23:06 AM): well, if he made copy, he made a really good alteration then. I don't think it's copy.
cmi_83 (9:23:13 AM):
cmi_83 (9:23:15 AM): cool!
cmi_83 (9:23:24 AM): n u loved him more after that, right?
bakinmd (9:23:29 AM): it deals with our family's problem
cmi_83 (9:23:36 AM): awww
bakinmd (9:23:46 AM): yup, I love him more
bakinmd (9:23:50 AM): tahu aja ih!
cmi_83 (9:24:20 AM):
cmi_83 (9:24:34 AM): every little thing he does just makes u fall deeper in luv?
cmi_83 (9:24:53 AM): I know the feeling
bakinmd (9:25:35 AM): isn't it a great feeling? man, it's like in a movie.
cmi_83 (9:25:38 AM): yeah!
cmi_83 (9:25:49 AM): I never knew what it feels like until now... amazing!
bakinmd (9:27:39 AM): you can't help to see other people amazing capacity too.....your perception change...more loving, more intuitive, more flexible, more excited, blush more....hihihihi
cmi_83 (9:27:50 AM): yeah... hahahhahaha
cmi_83 (9:27:53 AM): so true
cmi_83 (9:28:05 AM): roses colored lenses
cmi_83 (9:28:23 AM): everything seems more beautiful.. even his flaws are beautiful am I right?
bakinmd (9:29:56 AM): his flaws make him real
cmi_83 (9:30:04 AM): yeah... hahaha...
cmi_83 (9:30:07 AM): that too
bakinmd (9:30:18 AM): yup, roses colored lenses...oh man that's so good, you must put that in your poem

bakinmd (9:33:06 AM): hey, his flaw makes you think, makes you grow
bakinmd (9:33:09 AM): sure
bakinmd (9:33:18 AM): it's hard to grow isn't it?
cmi_83 (9:33:28 AM): damn right!
cmi_83 (9:33:29 AM):
cmi_83 (9:33:37 AM): growing up is hard!
bakinmd (9:34:37 AM): you know what make it not so hard?
cmi_83 (9:34:54 AM): what?
bakinmd (9:35:11 AM): hanging out with us
cmi_83 (9:35:34 AM): hahaha
cmi_83 (9:35:36 AM): true
cmi_83 (9:35:36 AM):
cmi_83 (9:35:42 AM): always a good laugh!
bakinmd (9:37:12 AM): we laugh together, aww together, cry a little bit together, then laugh again

n then we talked about blablabla hehehe... how to handle conflicts, etc

bakinmd (9:40:00 AM): It is good to lists points of priority & points of possible 'dissapointment' or possible kinks that need to be work out
bakinmd (9:40:06 AM): is that maturity?
cmi_83 (9:40:13 AM): yeah, I guess
cmi_83 (9:40:14 AM):
cmi_83 (9:40:33 AM): but in the end... none of that matters, right... cuz u simply love that person, the whole of that person
bakinmd (9:41:05 AM): yeah, that's my conclusion too at the end....so here I am...engaged
cmi_83 (9:41:14 AM): hihihi
bakinmd (9:41:19 AM): you are actually ready to be engaged now
cmi_83 (9:41:23 AM): n happily in luv.. *ahhh*
cmi_83 (9:41:27 AM): hahaha
cmi_83 (9:41:49 AM): I've matured sooo much in the last few months
cmi_83 (9:41:52 AM): it's amazing

bakinmd (9:42:08 AM): eh, it's true....you eliminated possible kink (or work it out or accept it) then you fully accept Jhon
cmi_83 (9:42:16 AM): I've learnt to say sorry n really mean it, to trust completely, to give more of myself... etc etc
cmi_83 (9:42:23 AM): yeah
cmi_83 (9:42:36 AM): I've grown, basically
cmi_83 (9:42:44 AM): n the same with him
bakinmd (9:42:54 AM): yup, it's not easy for us to do that....now, it's like we are "enlighten" to accept other, to trust, to give more
cmi_83 (9:43:02 AM): he opened up my eyes to my flaws n the real me...
cmi_83 (9:43:14 AM): THAT'S IT... "ENLIGHTENED"

bakinmd (9:44:50 AM): making the decision is the hardest part actually
cmi_83 (9:44:54 AM): there's no goin back, huh
bakinmd (9:44:59 AM): especially for both of us
cmi_83 (9:45:04 AM): the decision to marry ambi?
cmi_83 (9:45:05 AM):
cmi_83 (9:45:07 AM): why?
bakinmd (9:45:10 AM): we like to think we are very independent
cmi_83 (9:45:12 AM): yeah
bakinmd (9:45:38 AM): so 'give in' is not an option
cmi_83 (9:45:42 AM): nope
cmi_83 (9:45:54 AM): argue n argue until u're both tired n make up
bakinmd (9:46:01 AM): yup
cmi_83 (9:46:03 AM): agree to disagree
cmi_83 (9:46:04 AM):
cmi_83 (9:46:06 AM): same with us
cmi_83 (9:46:07 AM):
bakinmd (9:46:19 AM): even if you during mini "break up", you learn
bakinmd (9:46:24 AM): well, the hard way

cmi_83 (9:46:27 AM): then the making up part is much sweeter
cmi_83 (9:46:31 AM): yeah
cmi_83 (9:46:34 AM):
cmi_83 (9:46:51 AM): u learn a lot more about each other n how to handle certain issues...
cmi_83 (9:46:55 AM): n u grow more n more
cmi_83 (9:46:57 AM): each day
cmi_83 (9:47:00 AM): *sigh*
bakinmd (9:47:13 AM): agree to disagree...yup....interesting concept that become a reality
cmi_83 (9:47:18 AM): yeah hahaha
cmi_83 (9:47:51 AM): love is a wonderful thing... despite all the pain we have to go thru... it's worth it... to think that I used to think I was doomed hahaha
bakinmd (9:48:49 AM): yeah, actually the deeper the pain, the more meaningful is the relationship
cmi_83 (9:48:52 AM): yeah
cmi_83 (9:48:54 AM): no kidding
bakinmd (9:48:54 AM): so, don't despair
cmi_83 (9:48:59 AM):
bakinmd (9:49:22 AM): well, you're taking it much better than I did
cmi_83 (9:49:26 AM): really?
bakinmd (9:49:26 AM):
cmi_83 (9:49:27 AM):
cmi_83 (9:49:30 AM): awwww

n then babbled on about sappy stuff that I don't want u to read hahaha

bakinmd (10:08:37 AM): I need to go back studying
cmi_83 (10:08:39 AM): hahaha
cmi_83 (10:08:42 AM): rajinnn
cmi_83 (10:08:43 AM):
cmi_83 (10:08:47 AM): say hi to everyone
bakinmd (10:08:59 AM): okay....Jeff masih cembetut
cmi_83 (10:09:05 AM): cembetut?
cmi_83 (10:09:07 AM): kenapa lagi?
bakinmd (10:09:40 AM): He get yelled left & right by dad...doesn't matter if he does something or not do anything
cmi_83 (10:09:44 AM):
bakinmd (10:09:52 AM): and he is still cembetut whenever I mention your name
cmi_83 (10:09:56 AM): hahahhaa
cmi_83 (10:09:57 AM): awwww
cmi_83 (10:10:02 AM): he hates me!
bakinmd (10:10:03 AM): poor guy, his confidence is really down
bakinmd (10:10:15 AM): pray for him
cmi_83 (10:10:23 AM): always... that he'll move on
bakinmd (10:10:57 AM): pray that my meeting with nursing counsellor go smoothly next Tuesday
cmi_83 (10:11:07 AM): it will.. believe!
bakinmd (10:11:11 AM): he is stuck, don't know where to go
cmi_83 (10:11:18 AM): hehehe...
cmi_83 (10:11:25 AM): I'm so sorry for hurting him that badly
cmi_83 (10:11:26 AM):
bakinmd (10:11:42 AM): yup, you are given a bigger "mess" now
bakinmd (10:11:46 AM): just kidding
cmi_83 (10:11:50 AM): no u're right!
bakinmd (10:12:11 AM): one is not challenging.....this one is too challenging....hehehe
cmi_83 (10:12:16 AM): hihihii
cmi_83 (10:12:23 AM): well, tell Jeff I say hi
bakinmd (10:12:27 AM): ok
cmi_83 (10:12:32 AM): will that make him hate me more?
cmi_83 (10:12:34 AM): then don't
cmi_83 (10:13:03 AM): go study, Lin
cmi_83 (10:13:06 AM): all the best
cmi_83 (10:13:15 AM): u're such a superwoman!

n then we said a thousand bye's hehehe...

Alrite babe... sms me when u can... can't wait 2 hear from ya...

Luv,
M